Spotting the Signs and Lending a Hand: Helping Your Mate with a Gambling Habit

Introduction: Why This Matters to You (and Your Mates!)

Kia ora, mate! Gambling is a pretty common pastime here in Aotearoa, from a cheeky flutter on the horses to a few spins on the pokies. It’s all good fun when it’s just a bit of harmless entertainment, right? But sometimes, things can get a bit out of hand. That’s why knowing how to spot the signs of a gambling problem and how to offer support is so important. It’s about looking out for your mates and making sure everyone’s doing okay. This article is designed to give you a helping hand, even if you’re totally new to the whole gambling scene.

If you’re worried about a friend or whānau member, you’re already taking a crucial first step. Understanding the potential pitfalls of gambling and knowing how to approach someone who might be struggling can make a real difference. Think of it like this: you wouldn’t stand by and watch a mate struggle with anything else, so why would you with this? And hey, if you’re looking for some extra resources or want to learn more about responsible gambling in New Zealand, check out some great information at https://allyspin.co.nz/.

Understanding Problem Gambling: What to Look For

So, how do you know if your mate’s gambling is becoming a problem? It’s not always obvious, and it’s definitely not just about how much they’re spending. There are a few key things to keep an eye out for:

Changes in Behaviour

Has your friend started acting differently? Are they more secretive about where they’re going or what they’re doing with their money? Are they suddenly more irritable, anxious, or withdrawn? These can all be red flags. They might be spending more time gambling than they used to, or they might be missing out on other activities they used to enjoy.

Financial Troubles

This is often the most visible sign. Are they constantly short on cash? Are they borrowing money from you or others? Are they having trouble paying bills? Have they started selling possessions to fund their gambling? These are serious indicators that something isn’t right.

Obsessive Thoughts

Is gambling all they seem to talk about? Do they spend a lot of time thinking about past bets, future bets, or how they can win big? Do they get restless or irritable when they can’t gamble? These obsessive thoughts are a common sign of a gambling problem.

Chasing Losses

This is a particularly dangerous pattern. Are they trying to win back their losses by gambling more and more? Do they believe they’re «due» for a win? Chasing losses is a classic sign that someone is losing control.

Denial and Deception

Does your friend deny they have a problem, even when confronted with evidence? Are they hiding their gambling from you, their family, or their partner? Denial and deception are common coping mechanisms.

How to Talk to Your Mate: A Guide to Compassionate Conversation

Okay, so you’ve noticed some of these signs. Now what? Talking to your friend can be tough, but it’s often the most important thing you can do. Here’s how to approach the conversation:

Choose the Right Time and Place

Pick a time when you can both talk privately and without distractions. Avoid doing it when they’re actively gambling or in a heightened emotional state. A calm, neutral environment is best.

Express Your Concerns Gently

Start by expressing your concern and care. Use «I» statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying, «You’re always gambling,» try, «I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time and money on gambling lately, and I’m worried about you.»

Be Specific

Don’t just say you’re worried. Point out the specific behaviours you’ve noticed. «I’ve noticed you seem stressed about money, and you mentioned you had to borrow from your family. I’m worried that it’s related to your gambling.»

Listen Actively

Let your friend talk without interrupting. Listen to their perspective and try to understand how they’re feeling. Don’t judge or preach. Just listen.

Avoid Giving Advice (Unless Asked)

Unless your friend specifically asks for advice, try to avoid giving it. Your role is to be supportive, not to tell them what to do. Focus on listening and showing empathy.

Offer Support, Not Solutions

Let your friend know you’re there for them. Offer to help them find resources or seek professional help. Let them know you care and that you’re in their corner.

Set Boundaries

It’s important to be supportive, but you also need to protect yourself. Don’t lend them money, and don’t enable their gambling. Be clear about your limits.

Where to Find Help: Resources in New Zealand

You don’t have to go through this alone. There are plenty of resources available in New Zealand to help your friend (and you!):

Problem Gambling Foundation

This organisation offers free and confidential counselling, support groups, and information about problem gambling. They have services available throughout New Zealand.

Te Whatu Ora (Health New Zealand)

Your local Te Whatu Ora can provide information about mental health services and addiction support in your area. They can also refer you to specialist services.

Gambling Helpline

The Gambling Helpline is a free, confidential phone and online service that provides support and information about problem gambling. They’re available 24/7.

Family and Whānau Support

Remember that your friend’s family and whānau can also be affected by their gambling. Encourage them to seek support from family support services or counselling.

Conclusion: Taking the First Step Towards a Brighter Future

Helping a friend with a gambling problem isn’t always easy, but it’s a worthwhile act of kindness. By being observant, having an open and honest conversation, and offering support, you can make a real difference in their life. Remember that recovery is a journey, and it’s okay if things don’t change overnight. The most important thing is to be there for your mate and to encourage them to seek professional help. By working together, you can help them regain control and build a brighter future. Be patient, be understanding, and most importantly, be a good mate.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Encourage your friend to reach out to the resources mentioned above. And don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Supporting someone with a gambling problem can be emotionally draining, so make sure you have your own support network in place.

Mā te wā (see you later)!